Charlie Parker looked like buddha
Aug. 22nd, 2001 12:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
iron_and_silverHey everyone.
Today was a nice laidback day. I slept like heaven and awoke rested like i was newborn. I guess i needed to write last night.
Around 3 or 4am? Sam imed me asking if she could call me. I said yes and we talked for about an hour. it was good.
Then we came back on and decided to go into private aol room cyber (no, don't get any ideas people) and mess with people's heads. it was fun. It's funny to mess with desperate people's minds. Wrong? No..just amusing.
In the Nirvanas of your brain where you hide indulgent and huge..- Kerouac
We were only there for a few minutes then we both left. it was fun.
I later went straight to bed, full and ready to dream. I don't remember if i did. All i know, it was one of the most restful sleeps i have ever had.
I was supposed to make a couple of my friends tapes. grr. didnt. tommorrow then. I'll start making out a track list.
When it comes to making people's tapes, i always think of high fidelity. Such a great movie.
I Love Jack Kerouac. In case you didnt know, thats the pic of the guy in my LJ icon. and thats my fav line of his.
Kerouac inspired poetry that i've written in the past 3 days..:
the waitress a millionaire
if i went over to your house
what would we do, lay around
like tranquil dogs with a house full
of humans?
Maybe we would just be in awe
that somehow fate works
like a good waitress who finally
knows exactly what we want, fast.
if i ever went over to your house,
i would make that waitress a millionaire.
8-2-01
inside
with you,
i'm a foot
in the grandest of socks
during an old bitter winter.
8-3-01
to find his gold
There is NOTHING
sexier;
a pair of pockets sewn into pants that is wearing a-
with a great taste in music
gifted with a constant sense of humor
hair that hops like a jackrabbit when he walks
voice that is alluring like a beautiful old record
eyes that dance like the uninhibited-
man and NOTHING
is harder to deny
than wanting to dig my hands in those pockets
to find his gold.
8-7-01
Subj: [groovypoets] if i knew death
Date: 8/10/01 12:30:07 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
If I knew death
would pick me up like a reluctant cab
in the sad tired morning,
i think i would lay all night
under a school of stars
with a poetry book by my side
like a faithful beautiful dog.
Maybe I'd go to an orphaned payphone
and call you
to say words i save for moments like these (goodbyes)
and leave it at that.
I can never have dramatic endings. To simply walk away
always seems to leave a sweeter sting in the heart face and mouth.
Bittersweet seems to be a forever tint in my skin.
If I knew death was rounding the corner
fast and on 2 wheels
I would be sitting on the side of street;
shoes in a small wet puddle
eyes staring off into a long distance
hair hanging about my face like the branches of a willow tree
and a poetry book by my side
like an old beautiful faithful dog.
8-10-01
to crave juicy skies when you're but a dog
great sphinx's
in the mighty desert of suburbia.
8-20-01
Subj: [groovypoets] pissed off poet
Date: 8/21/01 10:48:32 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
Listening to Jack Kerouac
and being wrapped in a
beautifully sewn atmosphere,
poetic inspiration began to sprinkle on me
like salt from a shaker
and I'm inclined to appreciate it.
But another hungry jaw jagged filled mouth
decided to tear the beautiful sewing and I grit my teeth.
Shrill sounds of black words and sharp annoyance
makes it difficult to be anything but a
pissed off
poet.
8-21-01
Subj: [groovypoets] steel lion
Date: 8/21/01 10:56:30 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
On the way home
from my beyond the horizon college,
a roar like a hungry lion
came up next to me,
a steel lion.
Did he want to taunt my tires?
I pushed my gas pedal with the heavyness of a brick
and i did pass him
with a sort of sad reluctance for it felt
I was the reason a small part of his lush jungle
died.
8-21-01
ok. hell, i just put all the poetry i've written this month.
here's all july poetry..:
an american poem
Date: 7/5/01 4:00:56 PM Central Daylight Time
a grassroot audience
the sound of crunching stars
flowers that bloom briefly in the night sky
then die with jewels dripping off their stems
large jeweled bracelets that shine like brave eyes
and i want to collect them all for my own
but they are too high and so they dissapear
until next
july 4th.
7-4-01
Subj: *Tortured Poets* new kind of music
Date: 7/5/01 4:19:21 PM Central Daylight Time
You give me a new kind of music;
my small ears
arent made for loud uneccesary noise
that scar them in tiny unseen places
which burn and ache and i never realize the scars arent so hidden..
You give me a new kind of music
a cure for all the scars a medicine
for all the past ringing aconsistent and new
beauty.
i will always love you for your such sweet simple sounds.
7-5-01
Subj: [ever-kalliope] an ingrident in blood
Date: 7/13/01 1:22:34 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: ever-kalliope@yahoogroups.com
To: ever-kalliope@yahoogroups.com
If you prick me
I would not bleed but rather
sway from the sound that pours from that hole,
cat scratched singers
beautiful guitar riffs and real drums,
and the rebelous attitude that exists
in the cells of every true and right strange wild soul.
Not everyone wears rebellion like a expensive suede coat.
Sometimes it hides on the back of the neck
under the long hair thats combed but once a day
and sometimes in braids.
Sometimes still,
its in the eyes
in the form of a quiet wildness like an unoticed forest fire on a secluded
part of the world.
7-13-01
Subj: crushed like ice
Date: 7/13/01 2:59:14 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice
To: worldwidewordsmiths@egroups.com
love is a hope
that can be crushed like ice
between sharp teeth and a rough tongue.
love can make you cheat on yourself
and lie like a scared child who's extremely afraid
to be left alone.
7-13-01
Subj: [ever-kalliope] the warm happiness
Date: 7/14/01 12:12:15 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: ever-kalliope@yahoogroups.com
To: ever-kalliope@yahoogroups.com
In my mother's bathroom
she had the same showerhead since
my memory was born.
Last week, she changed it, and i hated it.
I screamed and pouted like a fake adult.
Then,
(while standing still, teeth grinding like rusty gears)
with the warm water slowing falling around my head,
i suddenly remembered how it was when i was five
in the tub;
my mother slowly rinsing my shampooed hair
with the warm happiness flowing around my head
and my teeth formed into a smile
like a newly oiled machine.
7-13-01
Subj: [groovypoets] steel mouth
Date: 7/19/01 2:18:41 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
having a mouth made of steel
makes it difficult to produce
handmade silk words without them
unraveling.
7-19-01
Subj: *Tortured Poets* a giant wet thought
I do not like cliche things.
i try and avoid cliche things when i write -cliche is
an unwanted clingy person-
but there are times when eventually you break down
-like the moment you decide to smile and painfully chat-
and pen some words.
Even though
i know
i've written over 100 love poems
it feels as if love has over a thousand faces,
and i've just discovered another one.
So in the midst of listening to an acoustic version
of marvin gaye's sexual healing - ben harper covered it well -
i can't help but hear you
in all your self proclaimed (obvious lie) "horrible, raspy" voice,
i want nothing more than
for you
to cover me like a great giant wet
rain.
7-20-01
Subj: *Tortured Poets* i've got trek marks
Date: 7/22/01 12:41:09 PM Central Daylight Time
have you ever been so madly in love
with a music band
that every mile of your skin
feels suddenly discovered and claimed
by the sound they make?
And to go a week
without one note of them
is to much to ask and to little to take?
I can still see the trek marks from those who claimed me
yesterday and today.
7-22-01
Subj: [groovypoets] the benefits of hidden treasure
Date: 7/30/01 1:54:03 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
I could never wear
tight
sparse clothing,
i don't want people to see everything.
I'm a loose laidback clothes girl
hiding all the best parts but
when the mood hits
like a unexpected sharp smile,
i'll show you
everything in small moments
and yours eyes will open like blooming roses
never to close
in your forever spring.
7-30-01
Subj: [groovypoets] zen, barefoot
Date: 7/30/01 2:33:35 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
i'm in zen, barefoot
in dirty wet mud between toes
in wet sprinkled grass
in sweet summer water
in freedom.
I'm in zen, barefoot.
7-30-01
always in knotts
we're a pair of knotted shoe laces
on shoes that are dirty from adventures
and comfortable from familarity.
I hope the strong fingers never come
with the perfect nails
to undo us.
7-13-01
and here's june:
Subj: [TEHUT-NINEandthewordsmiths] Her Feet Hurt
Date: 6/1/01 3:34:38 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
To: worldwidewordsmiths@yahoogroups.com
She Wears the red night
like a pair of pretty pink pumps
that she uses only for special occasions.
She can't wear them for long;
they make her feet red and sore.
Long after midnight
after her door is closed
the ceiling becomes her object of affection
as her heart beats hard and she feels everything become
warm except for
the space next to her and she
realizes just how much her
feet hurt.
6-1-01
under my feet
You're Gone
and I go on like the sun
with life growing under my feet
but i only notice the vacant room inside my walls
and the passing strangers who give me
the candy you used to dangle above my lips,
and i almost take it
but then you come walking in
and I fall down like the moon
with everything disappearing under my feet.
6-2-01
Subj: [groovypoets] Suddenly I Missed My
Date: 6/8/01 3:07:27 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
suddenly i missed my father
in a noon dream
as i watched his cracked feet
in worn out flip flops
trying to fix a piece of my art
without any luck..
and suddenly i felt the tiny specks of blue
that i never quite saw in his eyes when he would ask softly
if he could tuck me in
when my mom had fallen asleep or was sick or away
and i would always tell him no in my most
toughest child voice;
and suddenly i missed my father.
6-8-01
Subj: [TEHUT-NINEandthewordsmiths] small holes take the most away
Date: 6/8/01 3:27:33 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
To: worldwidewordsmiths@yahoogroups.com
the most Ugly feeling
in the world
is being thirsty and reaching for
your cup of love
(not noticing the small hole
at the bottom thats been there for weeks drain-
ing the once overflowing)
putting it to your lips and tasting
nothing.
6-8-01
Subj: [TEHUT-NINEandthewordsmiths] -Again-
Date: 6/8/01 9:09:58 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
To: worldwidewordsmiths@yahoogroups.com
I tempt slippery slick streets
with my wet tires and my rising adrenaline,
i take sharp turns like i use sharp words
cut straight along the jagged edge of everything.
I could die in the next 5 minutes and not
care about people reading my poetry when im 95
care about being a mother someday
care about loving someone longer than the permance of a tattoo
care about hearing the next greatest song that will inspire me for countless
hours until the next one,
but 5 minutes always pass and then
i'm back on the road -again-
6-8-01
Subj: [groovypoets] happy like love
Date: 6/21/01 2:32:37 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
children and fresh bloomed babies
make me move uncomfortable,
like i'm sweaty wearing brand new leather,
they always smile and giggle.
Their adults smile at first but never quite understand
the fascination with me.
They can't see the goodness - like shy first kisses
or halloween choclate -
in me that makes their child - happy like love.
children and sweet smelling babies
make me uncomfortable,
for they know i will treat them like my pet dogs,
beautiful with love more bountiful than the stars.
6-21-01
and finally may:
Subj: [groovypoets] The Lazy Lips and me
Date: 5/19/01 8:16:54 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
I like when the air is empty
like a cemetery in spring;
space less and without toxins.
No one to pollute me
with their hot air
oozing from cracked lips that have exercised
excessively.
I love lazy lips that long for the world to be death;
at least once a month.
Me and lips like those
crave our genuine air;
at least once a month.
5-19-00
Subj: [TEHUT-NINEandthewordsmiths] it feels like summer
Date: 5/19/01 8:44:39 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
To: worldwidewordsmiths@yahoogroups.com
It feels like summer;
hours that stretch tight far like rubberbands
snap! will be the stinging cold of september but i won't know that
until it's too late
walking outside in short sleeved shirt, shorts and shivering in sad surprise
maybe my mother venguefully broke the band too soon
she told me to get my coat before i walked out the door.
It feels like summer;
minutes that go on forever like a long fat horizon
on a giant of a highway
in a disgusting sweaty sunburned desert.
I'll drift off into dream that won't last longer
than an experimental kiss and i'll wish
I was being smothered by a fat horizon.
It feels like summer;
seconds crawl across my eyeballs
then dance wildly when i blink;
heat makes it hard to be alive
even when water overflows like slow june laughter
from lemonade stands that are the churches of summer,
for 3 months every year
children become the clergy
and thirsty heavy pocket adults the
faithful.
it feels like summer.
5-19-00
Affection to Summer
To the girl in the fire red top down corvette
with the blond hair that flaps
in the wind like an american flag,
i salute you.
Your display of affection to summer
makes me forget of the past winter discrection.
5-6-01
[groovypoets] big truck
Date: 5/23/01 5:32:25 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
big truck
passes as i
put on my brakes in rountine-
i could have made it to the other side-
but it had no sound
my blasting car speakers
stole all the noise out of my atmosphere-
rock is my selfish jealous friend.
Sitting there after a line of fate has passed
I wonder
if my feet had been slower
or 5 minutes could be 6
for this one instance
then the anamoly truck
would have killed me.
5-23-01
the sad movie
The Sad Movie
brings pleasure like gold
to a materlistic person.
Where the Girl survives
and the boy dies
and no one is happy
gives me a sad grin like snow
to a freezing eskimo.
5-31-01
Subj: [groovypoets] Steal your dictionary
Date: 5/31/01 6:30:48 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
Don't you know i'm in love with you
in the way my forever
means not eternity but
farther than I can see.
I wish that you I could steal your dictionary
and write a new beautiful definition of "in love"
for your eyes to see. Somehow,
i known you'd agree with me.
5-31-01
Subj: [groovypoets] A Raincoat wish
Date: 5/31/01 9:57:11 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
I
I wish that you
would send the things you have promised
but i know those promises
were made out of love and
not spite so you get my patience
instead of my foul mouthed frustration;
i love you.
will
i wish that you didn't drink so much
because i worry about the state of
your liver when you're 40 and settled in
your space and skin and
happiness.
wish
I wish that i could talk to you as
much as i wanted to which would be
until i grew tired of you like spring rain,
but i'll always have a raincoat with a dry throat.
forever.
5-31-01
Wow. I do write alot. Well, next tuesday my summer is over and i go back to school.
It's funny, i always have some new fleeting summer romance. Which usually ends in september. None this time. first time in 3 years.
I've been with brian since oct. '00. i love him. i cant see being w/o him. i just miss him. He turns 21 on sept. 12th. i'll buy him something. dunno wot though..
Damn..this is a long post.
I used to try and keep journals when i was younger. don't much anymore. though i do have this one journal where 3 days before my birthday, i'll write wots going on in my life. Its funny to read the page before describing last year. Its funny how much you and your life can change in a year. its like being a totally different person.
Grr..i feel so crowded. I feel like going to a beach and reading kerouac all by myself.
My mother is bitching. My brother wont leave me alone and he has the tv blasted up.
Just leave me alone with jack. leave me alone with his voice, words, and i want silence running down everything else like smooth honey.
God i feel poetic.
and this entry keeps getting longer.
I was listening to charlie parker by Kerouac. I'm officially obbsessed with october by jack. I can't get enough of it.
Alas, i need space and silence. I think i'm going to light an aromatherapy candle and finish my book.
Oh! I forgot. I have found a new pal. His name is Alex. He's really cool and deep. He makes me think. I dig that.
(sigh) more noise..more silence..
Brother: OMG FEBE!! PEE WEES BIG ADVENTURE MOVIE ON TOMMORROW NIGHT.
me: (fake smile and feeling even more crowded)ok.
Ok. I bet your eyes are tired..if you got this far. actually, leave me a comment if ya did. i'd like to know who actually reads this.
It's all in california..it's all a sea. - Kerouac
Today was a nice laidback day. I slept like heaven and awoke rested like i was newborn. I guess i needed to write last night.
Around 3 or 4am? Sam imed me asking if she could call me. I said yes and we talked for about an hour. it was good.
Then we came back on and decided to go into private aol room cyber (no, don't get any ideas people) and mess with people's heads. it was fun. It's funny to mess with desperate people's minds. Wrong? No..just amusing.
In the Nirvanas of your brain where you hide indulgent and huge..- Kerouac
We were only there for a few minutes then we both left. it was fun.
I later went straight to bed, full and ready to dream. I don't remember if i did. All i know, it was one of the most restful sleeps i have ever had.
I was supposed to make a couple of my friends tapes. grr. didnt. tommorrow then. I'll start making out a track list.
When it comes to making people's tapes, i always think of high fidelity. Such a great movie.
I Love Jack Kerouac. In case you didnt know, thats the pic of the guy in my LJ icon. and thats my fav line of his.
Kerouac inspired poetry that i've written in the past 3 days..:
the waitress a millionaire
if i went over to your house
what would we do, lay around
like tranquil dogs with a house full
of humans?
Maybe we would just be in awe
that somehow fate works
like a good waitress who finally
knows exactly what we want, fast.
if i ever went over to your house,
i would make that waitress a millionaire.
8-2-01
inside
with you,
i'm a foot
in the grandest of socks
during an old bitter winter.
8-3-01
to find his gold
There is NOTHING
sexier;
a pair of pockets sewn into pants that is wearing a-
with a great taste in music
gifted with a constant sense of humor
hair that hops like a jackrabbit when he walks
voice that is alluring like a beautiful old record
eyes that dance like the uninhibited-
man and NOTHING
is harder to deny
than wanting to dig my hands in those pockets
to find his gold.
8-7-01
Subj: [groovypoets] if i knew death
Date: 8/10/01 12:30:07 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
If I knew death
would pick me up like a reluctant cab
in the sad tired morning,
i think i would lay all night
under a school of stars
with a poetry book by my side
like a faithful beautiful dog.
Maybe I'd go to an orphaned payphone
and call you
to say words i save for moments like these (goodbyes)
and leave it at that.
I can never have dramatic endings. To simply walk away
always seems to leave a sweeter sting in the heart face and mouth.
Bittersweet seems to be a forever tint in my skin.
If I knew death was rounding the corner
fast and on 2 wheels
I would be sitting on the side of street;
shoes in a small wet puddle
eyes staring off into a long distance
hair hanging about my face like the branches of a willow tree
and a poetry book by my side
like an old beautiful faithful dog.
8-10-01
to crave juicy skies when you're but a dog
great sphinx's
in the mighty desert of suburbia.
8-20-01
Subj: [groovypoets] pissed off poet
Date: 8/21/01 10:48:32 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
Listening to Jack Kerouac
and being wrapped in a
beautifully sewn atmosphere,
poetic inspiration began to sprinkle on me
like salt from a shaker
and I'm inclined to appreciate it.
But another hungry jaw jagged filled mouth
decided to tear the beautiful sewing and I grit my teeth.
Shrill sounds of black words and sharp annoyance
makes it difficult to be anything but a
pissed off
poet.
8-21-01
Subj: [groovypoets] steel lion
Date: 8/21/01 10:56:30 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
On the way home
from my beyond the horizon college,
a roar like a hungry lion
came up next to me,
a steel lion.
Did he want to taunt my tires?
I pushed my gas pedal with the heavyness of a brick
and i did pass him
with a sort of sad reluctance for it felt
I was the reason a small part of his lush jungle
died.
8-21-01
ok. hell, i just put all the poetry i've written this month.
here's all july poetry..:
an american poem
Date: 7/5/01 4:00:56 PM Central Daylight Time
a grassroot audience
the sound of crunching stars
flowers that bloom briefly in the night sky
then die with jewels dripping off their stems
large jeweled bracelets that shine like brave eyes
and i want to collect them all for my own
but they are too high and so they dissapear
until next
july 4th.
7-4-01
Subj: *Tortured Poets* new kind of music
Date: 7/5/01 4:19:21 PM Central Daylight Time
You give me a new kind of music;
my small ears
arent made for loud uneccesary noise
that scar them in tiny unseen places
which burn and ache and i never realize the scars arent so hidden..
You give me a new kind of music
a cure for all the scars a medicine
for all the past ringing aconsistent and new
beauty.
i will always love you for your such sweet simple sounds.
7-5-01
Subj: [ever-kalliope] an ingrident in blood
Date: 7/13/01 1:22:34 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: ever-kalliope@yahoogroups.com
To: ever-kalliope@yahoogroups.com
If you prick me
I would not bleed but rather
sway from the sound that pours from that hole,
cat scratched singers
beautiful guitar riffs and real drums,
and the rebelous attitude that exists
in the cells of every true and right strange wild soul.
Not everyone wears rebellion like a expensive suede coat.
Sometimes it hides on the back of the neck
under the long hair thats combed but once a day
and sometimes in braids.
Sometimes still,
its in the eyes
in the form of a quiet wildness like an unoticed forest fire on a secluded
part of the world.
7-13-01
Subj: crushed like ice
Date: 7/13/01 2:59:14 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice
To: worldwidewordsmiths@egroups.com
love is a hope
that can be crushed like ice
between sharp teeth and a rough tongue.
love can make you cheat on yourself
and lie like a scared child who's extremely afraid
to be left alone.
7-13-01
Subj: [ever-kalliope] the warm happiness
Date: 7/14/01 12:12:15 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: ever-kalliope@yahoogroups.com
To: ever-kalliope@yahoogroups.com
In my mother's bathroom
she had the same showerhead since
my memory was born.
Last week, she changed it, and i hated it.
I screamed and pouted like a fake adult.
Then,
(while standing still, teeth grinding like rusty gears)
with the warm water slowing falling around my head,
i suddenly remembered how it was when i was five
in the tub;
my mother slowly rinsing my shampooed hair
with the warm happiness flowing around my head
and my teeth formed into a smile
like a newly oiled machine.
7-13-01
Subj: [groovypoets] steel mouth
Date: 7/19/01 2:18:41 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
having a mouth made of steel
makes it difficult to produce
handmade silk words without them
unraveling.
7-19-01
Subj: *Tortured Poets* a giant wet thought
I do not like cliche things.
i try and avoid cliche things when i write -cliche is
an unwanted clingy person-
but there are times when eventually you break down
-like the moment you decide to smile and painfully chat-
and pen some words.
Even though
i know
i've written over 100 love poems
it feels as if love has over a thousand faces,
and i've just discovered another one.
So in the midst of listening to an acoustic version
of marvin gaye's sexual healing - ben harper covered it well -
i can't help but hear you
in all your self proclaimed (obvious lie) "horrible, raspy" voice,
i want nothing more than
for you
to cover me like a great giant wet
rain.
7-20-01
Subj: *Tortured Poets* i've got trek marks
Date: 7/22/01 12:41:09 PM Central Daylight Time
have you ever been so madly in love
with a music band
that every mile of your skin
feels suddenly discovered and claimed
by the sound they make?
And to go a week
without one note of them
is to much to ask and to little to take?
I can still see the trek marks from those who claimed me
yesterday and today.
7-22-01
Subj: [groovypoets] the benefits of hidden treasure
Date: 7/30/01 1:54:03 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
I could never wear
tight
sparse clothing,
i don't want people to see everything.
I'm a loose laidback clothes girl
hiding all the best parts but
when the mood hits
like a unexpected sharp smile,
i'll show you
everything in small moments
and yours eyes will open like blooming roses
never to close
in your forever spring.
7-30-01
Subj: [groovypoets] zen, barefoot
Date: 7/30/01 2:33:35 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
i'm in zen, barefoot
in dirty wet mud between toes
in wet sprinkled grass
in sweet summer water
in freedom.
I'm in zen, barefoot.
7-30-01
always in knotts
we're a pair of knotted shoe laces
on shoes that are dirty from adventures
and comfortable from familarity.
I hope the strong fingers never come
with the perfect nails
to undo us.
7-13-01
and here's june:
Subj: [TEHUT-NINEandthewordsmiths] Her Feet Hurt
Date: 6/1/01 3:34:38 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
To: worldwidewordsmiths@yahoogroups.com
She Wears the red night
like a pair of pretty pink pumps
that she uses only for special occasions.
She can't wear them for long;
they make her feet red and sore.
Long after midnight
after her door is closed
the ceiling becomes her object of affection
as her heart beats hard and she feels everything become
warm except for
the space next to her and she
realizes just how much her
feet hurt.
6-1-01
under my feet
You're Gone
and I go on like the sun
with life growing under my feet
but i only notice the vacant room inside my walls
and the passing strangers who give me
the candy you used to dangle above my lips,
and i almost take it
but then you come walking in
and I fall down like the moon
with everything disappearing under my feet.
6-2-01
Subj: [groovypoets] Suddenly I Missed My
Date: 6/8/01 3:07:27 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
suddenly i missed my father
in a noon dream
as i watched his cracked feet
in worn out flip flops
trying to fix a piece of my art
without any luck..
and suddenly i felt the tiny specks of blue
that i never quite saw in his eyes when he would ask softly
if he could tuck me in
when my mom had fallen asleep or was sick or away
and i would always tell him no in my most
toughest child voice;
and suddenly i missed my father.
6-8-01
Subj: [TEHUT-NINEandthewordsmiths] small holes take the most away
Date: 6/8/01 3:27:33 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
To: worldwidewordsmiths@yahoogroups.com
the most Ugly feeling
in the world
is being thirsty and reaching for
your cup of love
(not noticing the small hole
at the bottom thats been there for weeks drain-
ing the once overflowing)
putting it to your lips and tasting
nothing.
6-8-01
Subj: [TEHUT-NINEandthewordsmiths] -Again-
Date: 6/8/01 9:09:58 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
To: worldwidewordsmiths@yahoogroups.com
I tempt slippery slick streets
with my wet tires and my rising adrenaline,
i take sharp turns like i use sharp words
cut straight along the jagged edge of everything.
I could die in the next 5 minutes and not
care about people reading my poetry when im 95
care about being a mother someday
care about loving someone longer than the permance of a tattoo
care about hearing the next greatest song that will inspire me for countless
hours until the next one,
but 5 minutes always pass and then
i'm back on the road -again-
6-8-01
Subj: [groovypoets] happy like love
Date: 6/21/01 2:32:37 AM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
children and fresh bloomed babies
make me move uncomfortable,
like i'm sweaty wearing brand new leather,
they always smile and giggle.
Their adults smile at first but never quite understand
the fascination with me.
They can't see the goodness - like shy first kisses
or halloween choclate -
in me that makes their child - happy like love.
children and sweet smelling babies
make me uncomfortable,
for they know i will treat them like my pet dogs,
beautiful with love more bountiful than the stars.
6-21-01
and finally may:
Subj: [groovypoets] The Lazy Lips and me
Date: 5/19/01 8:16:54 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
I like when the air is empty
like a cemetery in spring;
space less and without toxins.
No one to pollute me
with their hot air
oozing from cracked lips that have exercised
excessively.
I love lazy lips that long for the world to be death;
at least once a month.
Me and lips like those
crave our genuine air;
at least once a month.
5-19-00
Subj: [TEHUT-NINEandthewordsmiths] it feels like summer
Date: 5/19/01 8:44:39 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
To: worldwidewordsmiths@yahoogroups.com
It feels like summer;
hours that stretch tight far like rubberbands
snap! will be the stinging cold of september but i won't know that
until it's too late
walking outside in short sleeved shirt, shorts and shivering in sad surprise
maybe my mother venguefully broke the band too soon
she told me to get my coat before i walked out the door.
It feels like summer;
minutes that go on forever like a long fat horizon
on a giant of a highway
in a disgusting sweaty sunburned desert.
I'll drift off into dream that won't last longer
than an experimental kiss and i'll wish
I was being smothered by a fat horizon.
It feels like summer;
seconds crawl across my eyeballs
then dance wildly when i blink;
heat makes it hard to be alive
even when water overflows like slow june laughter
from lemonade stands that are the churches of summer,
for 3 months every year
children become the clergy
and thirsty heavy pocket adults the
faithful.
it feels like summer.
5-19-00
Affection to Summer
To the girl in the fire red top down corvette
with the blond hair that flaps
in the wind like an american flag,
i salute you.
Your display of affection to summer
makes me forget of the past winter discrection.
5-6-01
[groovypoets] big truck
Date: 5/23/01 5:32:25 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
big truck
passes as i
put on my brakes in rountine-
i could have made it to the other side-
but it had no sound
my blasting car speakers
stole all the noise out of my atmosphere-
rock is my selfish jealous friend.
Sitting there after a line of fate has passed
I wonder
if my feet had been slower
or 5 minutes could be 6
for this one instance
then the anamoly truck
would have killed me.
5-23-01
the sad movie
The Sad Movie
brings pleasure like gold
to a materlistic person.
Where the Girl survives
and the boy dies
and no one is happy
gives me a sad grin like snow
to a freezing eskimo.
5-31-01
Subj: [groovypoets] Steal your dictionary
Date: 5/31/01 6:30:48 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
Don't you know i'm in love with you
in the way my forever
means not eternity but
farther than I can see.
I wish that you I could steal your dictionary
and write a new beautiful definition of "in love"
for your eyes to see. Somehow,
i known you'd agree with me.
5-31-01
Subj: [groovypoets] A Raincoat wish
Date: 5/31/01 9:57:11 PM Central Daylight Time
From: ElectricBluAlice@aol.com
Reply-to: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
To: groovypoets@yahoogroups.com
I
I wish that you
would send the things you have promised
but i know those promises
were made out of love and
not spite so you get my patience
instead of my foul mouthed frustration;
i love you.
will
i wish that you didn't drink so much
because i worry about the state of
your liver when you're 40 and settled in
your space and skin and
happiness.
wish
I wish that i could talk to you as
much as i wanted to which would be
until i grew tired of you like spring rain,
but i'll always have a raincoat with a dry throat.
forever.
5-31-01
Wow. I do write alot. Well, next tuesday my summer is over and i go back to school.
It's funny, i always have some new fleeting summer romance. Which usually ends in september. None this time. first time in 3 years.
I've been with brian since oct. '00. i love him. i cant see being w/o him. i just miss him. He turns 21 on sept. 12th. i'll buy him something. dunno wot though..
Damn..this is a long post.
I used to try and keep journals when i was younger. don't much anymore. though i do have this one journal where 3 days before my birthday, i'll write wots going on in my life. Its funny to read the page before describing last year. Its funny how much you and your life can change in a year. its like being a totally different person.
Grr..i feel so crowded. I feel like going to a beach and reading kerouac all by myself.
My mother is bitching. My brother wont leave me alone and he has the tv blasted up.
Just leave me alone with jack. leave me alone with his voice, words, and i want silence running down everything else like smooth honey.
God i feel poetic.
and this entry keeps getting longer.
I was listening to charlie parker by Kerouac. I'm officially obbsessed with october by jack. I can't get enough of it.
Alas, i need space and silence. I think i'm going to light an aromatherapy candle and finish my book.
Oh! I forgot. I have found a new pal. His name is Alex. He's really cool and deep. He makes me think. I dig that.
(sigh) more noise..more silence..
Brother: OMG FEBE!! PEE WEES BIG ADVENTURE MOVIE ON TOMMORROW NIGHT.
me: (fake smile and feeling even more crowded)ok.
Ok. I bet your eyes are tired..if you got this far. actually, leave me a comment if ya did. i'd like to know who actually reads this.
It's all in california..it's all a sea. - Kerouac
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Date: 2001-08-22 05:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2001-08-22 05:42 pm (UTC)