Mysterious F (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
iron_and_silver) wrote2003-05-12 12:09 pm
iron_and_silver) wrote2003-05-12 12:09 pm
im a funeral queen
talking to mickel makes me realize how many funerals ive been too in my lifetime.
as a kid, it seemed to be a very regular thing. i viewed so many dead bodies during that time. It started to fascinate me. they way they looked, the intense crying, and all the sad faces. When older relatives would look at child febe, they'd hug me as if i was hope that life was still liveable. it was so intense for child me!
then my uncle mel died when i was in 8th grade. that changed everything. the first relative to die that i deeply cared for. He was my fav uncle and the most fun. To this day, i still miss him.
After that i hated funerals. but more were on the way.
In my late teens, my mothers father died. Hearing my grandmother cry was so gut wrenching. it was too much.
then my great aunt and dad's father died. i didnt go to either funeral.
last thursday my step aunt on my dad's side died. i only ever saw a handful of times. i never saw her daughter and only saw her now 11 year old son, when he was still a toddler. She was not even 40. she died of cancer. very sad. but her and my dad were only close this past year. but that side of the family is so..backstabbing. i just do not wish to go. my dad wanted me to go. i said no. i really hope he dosent take it personal.
well im going to shower.
as a kid, it seemed to be a very regular thing. i viewed so many dead bodies during that time. It started to fascinate me. they way they looked, the intense crying, and all the sad faces. When older relatives would look at child febe, they'd hug me as if i was hope that life was still liveable. it was so intense for child me!
then my uncle mel died when i was in 8th grade. that changed everything. the first relative to die that i deeply cared for. He was my fav uncle and the most fun. To this day, i still miss him.
After that i hated funerals. but more were on the way.
In my late teens, my mothers father died. Hearing my grandmother cry was so gut wrenching. it was too much.
then my great aunt and dad's father died. i didnt go to either funeral.
last thursday my step aunt on my dad's side died. i only ever saw a handful of times. i never saw her daughter and only saw her now 11 year old son, when he was still a toddler. She was not even 40. she died of cancer. very sad. but her and my dad were only close this past year. but that side of the family is so..backstabbing. i just do not wish to go. my dad wanted me to go. i said no. i really hope he dosent take it personal.
well im going to shower.