thanx sam:-)

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out"

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Why ARE Trix only for kids?

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window.

Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

dude

its fucking hot.

now all those times me and daniel were freezing our ass off in denton at night..

i wish i could go back there lol at least i wasnt sweating.

haha im still tickled pink that daniel reads this crazy LJ.

tickled silly. daniel comment! comment like crazy. you can do it w/o signing in:-)

its fucking hot, did i say that already? and i tried to take a nap but it was too hot and the phone kept ringing like crazy. talk about not sleeping well.

this war is turning out to be harder than people thought. see man i knew this would happen. did you REALLY think saddam would give up so easily? hell no. its going to be a long and ugly ugly war.

for the first time ever, i didnt see the oscars last night hehe. and the one time i miss it, ITS SO DAMN INTRESTING. steve martin, whom i dearly love hosted. and damnit. i missed the great michael moore speech.

i mean sure i loved the guy before. now after last night, i love him even more! i feel like last night he spoke all the things alot of people (including me)wished they could say to that large of an audience. it was beautiful. i dont care if he got booed. it was a beautiful and truthful speech. im glad someone can get on national TV and say those things. it was wonderful.

im super hungry.

i have a headache

im still hungry

and jude law makes me happy. hes just so pretty..

( mmm jude.. )

craigness

super craigness

i almost bought a pavement cd today. it was called electric something?

know of it? do ya like it?