who is this? ive never heard of roy batty

anyone tell me who he is?

my destiny report:-)

Section 1: The Sun

The Sun in your birth chart represents the primary creative
thrust for this lifetime, those qualities you are to develop (or
further develop) and express, and your current life focus. This
may be in harmony with your instincts and your emotional habits,
febe, or along completely different lines. The Sun represents
your conscious identity in this lifetime.

Sun in Aries:

The truth that each of us is essentially alone and that we
must ultimately answer to ourselves regarding our choices in
life is one that resonates deeply within you. Thus, febe, your
first loyalty is to yourself and to living your own life as
authentically as possible. When you are most yourself, you are
a risk taker, a trailblazer, forging your own path rather than
following anyone else's lead. Whether or not you have the
courage to do so, to boldly assert yourself and follow your own
star - standing alone when necessary - is crucial to fulfilling
your life purpose.

There are many ways, both positive and negative, you could
choose to express this core sense of singleness and this need to
be an original or a pioneer. You may, for instance, simply
choose to remain single. Your independence, autonomy, and
freedom are very important to you, and at heart you really do
not want to be distracted from your purposes or encumbered by
the responsibilities and complications that accompany close,
ongoing partnership with others. You are by nature a solo.
This does not necessarily mean that you will avoid intimate
relationships or commitments, but there must be some arena in
you life where you are the chief, where you take initiative and
make the decisions. Being a sole proprietor of an upstart
business enterprise, free lancing, supporting yourself with as
little external input as possible - they are all possible
expressions of your inner drive to live life on your own terms,
by your own inner creativity and dictates. If you do not feel

you are your own boss, febe, you simply will not be happy. Your
lifestyle and work must reflect your strong impulses to be
self-reliant as well as to create something NEW, in order for
you to be in harmony.

You instinctively put yourself first; your dreams, your
desires, your goals, your needs, your work. In fact, failure to
do so (by trying to fit in to someone else's picture or formula,
or having to negotiate every step you take with a partner or a
group) may create enormous internal frustration for you,
resulting in frequent headaches, accidents, temper flare-ups,
and so on. However, taking care of number one - or simply being
oblivious to the equally valid needs, desires, and importance of
others - is not the highest expression of your potential, and
learning to adjust to and give equal weight to other's interests
while not sacrificing your own, is a major challenge for you.
Unconscious selfishness can be one of your greatest weaknesses.

Part of your life task has to do with developing and
embodying the qualities of courage, will, personal power, and a
warrior spirit. There is a definite silitant aspect to your
nature, either expressed very directly as physical
aggressiveness, competitiveness, and a tendency to provoke
controversy and fights, or simply as the urge to "attack"
challenges to compete intellectually or professionally. If you
are spiritually inclined, the martial arts, or harnessing and
using anger constructively, may appeal to you as a path of
personal development. In this lifetime you are charged with the
assignment of being a creative force and a leader, of breaking
new ground, doing things which are unprecedented and original.
Rather than compete or compare yourself with others, honor the
fire and creative force that drives you, as well as honoring
others. Being "the first" in something can be an insecure
position, as you do not have the support of tradition or the
majority. In order to fulfill your purpose, febe, you must risk
being either a fool or a failure. You need to be both
self-motivated and self-sustaining, and you can not rely on
someone outside yourself to direct you, sponsor you, or discover
your brilliance, and while you can learn from a teacher or a
master, you must recognize that ultimately your truth lies
within, and you have to paddle your own canoe. Uncompromising
honesty and reliance on your own resources are required.

hmm

well i just talked to brian. the first time in like 1-2 weeks.

sigh.

He said he felt like shit. it was due to alcohol.

I said i missed him. he said he missed him too.

oh. i wanted to say a big FUCK YOU but i didnt.

me: do ya miss me?
him: yeah

wot the hell? grrr

he went to pick up a friend.

sigh.

Well it seems that LJ may be working for me again. so let me do a brief run through of my week.

Last Sunday:

Worked 11 - 8. nothing out of the ordinary til an hour before close..

This girl kim was supposed to be in kids. since i was supposed to have men/kids but i was on the register all day and had no time wotsoever to work in it. so my manager richard knew this, and put her in kids.

well i got off my register about 45min before close at 7. thank god. so i walked around and surveyed the area. it looked like no one had touched it. clothes on the floor, everything disheveled, a real mess. and to top it off, 45min before close, you are supposed to be already in the process of cleaning up unless you have a really good reason not to. and she was nowhere near kids dept. she was rumored to be helping out in intimate appearl.

(she was not scheduled to work that day. she was called in)

So i mentioned casually to my friend angela the status of the kids dept. She nodded and told me not to worry about it. she then went and told our manager richard. i was working in the mens section when i saw him walk by and survey the area. he saw the mess.

(i would learn this next part later from a pissed off kim)

He then apparently told her that she dosent need to be goofing around and start working on her area.

So as i was straightening mens dress pants a pissed off (pisces/aries cusp. both hyper sensitive and brutally blunt) kim comes up to me and proceeds to bitch me out.

Being the passifist i am/and the fact that i have grown ever so tired of her up and down love/hate of me..

I don't fight back with her. I try to calmy explain to her that I'm not the one who told richard.

"GOD! YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING....(i expected her to say bitch but) HYPOCRITE!!"

Why? because i told her i never ever stab people in the back. she thinks i did. i did not.

She then swears she isnt helping me anymore and wont talk to me again.

that lasted for all of 5min.

she came back and said,

"HEY BUDDY! did you see any clothes on the floor? huh? no! because ive been picking them up all night!"

liar. but i didnt care enough to argue.

"Hey. bitch at me all ya want. im not going to fight you."

I, being an aries, know not to argue with a extremely pissed of pisces/aries cusp. it can lead to nothing good.

about an Hour later she tried to talk to me as i was laughing with my friend angela.

i didn't answer her. i avoided her like the plague.

Monday:

I was on my way out of work when i saw her coming in.

She was 20min late. she was supposed to take my place in the fitting room. There was a beatles song on the store radio. she asked me jokingly wot band it is. (shes a beatle fan too) and i said beatles and then nothing.

She acted like nothing had ever happened. She would do this again last night (friday).

fuuuck no. if i had my way, i'd never want to see her ever again. Showing up for work in PJ pants will do that. she's been really pushing my bosses. c'mon! PJ pants? they are laidback at my work but not THAT laidback.

Oh! and they are finally training me on how to work at the service desk:-) YAY! its the central point for the store. We handle returns/exchanges/layways/markdowns/and misc. customer service up there!! im doing pretty good so far. worked it from 6:30-close (9:30) last night. wee!!

I already wrote about wednesday with jd. He was supposed to call me to come over to study on friday but didnt. i had the whole house to meself on friday. ahhh. good times.

I emailed him about making a tape of the music we have to know for our test on tuesday. he said he'd love to have it. called me at noonish to confirm me making a tape for him. I made it. He's supposed to call me before 4 or after to swing by to pick it up. coolness.

I called my friend brian last night. hehehe. he's such a huge sweetie. i adore him. i told him he has to see me soon. he said he has a weeks vacation coming to him. we'll see:-)

Well its today. and I need to start revising my paper for short story.

byes:-)

man. audiogalaxy has the BEST music articles. They are the Music addicts haven for mp3's and articl

Tainting the memory is a regular feature on audiogalaxy.



Tainting the Memory: Santana


Santana opens his mouth wide to suckle the sagging man-teat of Clive Davis.


Carlos Santana knew, and, although recent evidence points to the contrary, may still know, a thing or two about transcendence. He once--under the influence of Sri Chinmoy, a spiritual guru, world class athlete and creator of the monumental "Oneness Happiness Song"--changed his name to Devadip, a word that means, "the eye, the lamp and light of God." Santana even has a song called "Transcendence" (okay, it's actually called "Transcendance," but nobody ever accused Carlos of not being cheesy) on the excellent Moonflower album, the one with the lovely panoramic photo of the Himalayas on the cover. And what self-respecting imbiber of mind-expanding substances hasn't had at least one transcendent musical moment listening to Santana? Whether it be the pure ecstatic joy of psychedelic Latin jams like "Oye Como Va," the wide-eyed wonder (and again, joy) of "Everything is Coming Our Way," or the smooth soul-jazz funkiness of lesser known tunes like "I'll Be Waiting," Santana has so many great songs that at least one of them must have done it for you at some point.

Santana's power to transcend is not just musical though, it is cultural and generational and racial as well. I played basketball in high school, and the van rides home from games were always a rowdy experience, with a bunch of smelly, sweaty guys acting stupid and listening to the latest musical offerings from the Bad Boy or Death Row camps at best and Boyz II Men and Jodeci at worst. That was all well and good, but my musical horizons had been newly expanded, and I would often struggle to get my own, less broadly appealing music, heard over the van sound system. These musical interjections would most often be met with indifference if not outright derision: 16 year old sports-frenzied boys do not as a rule appreciate the drug fueled humor and existentialism of Country Joe and the Fish, nor can they be counted on to get past the abrasive vocals of David Yow in order to dig on the cathartic effects of the Jesus Lizard's insane noise funk.

So, one post-game evening as we were cruising home from some podunk school's gymnasium, eager to get back to town where our friends were busy getting on with actual lives that included such things as girls and Mad Dog and gravity bongs, I slipped in a tape of Santana's III, the one with the cover featuring the crazy inside-out guy holding the universe in his palm while Carlos, sword in hand, rides atop a winged horse. In order to effect my ruse I was sitting shotgun next to our assistant coach, a giant black man known as "Truck." As the opening percussion of "Batuka" began to build to a groove, joined shortly by its evil guitar riff and bassline, then its swirling organ, Truck--who was typically as vocally adverse to my music as were my teammates--looked over at me with a gleam of pure mischief in his eye.

"Santana!" he growled, the word rolling off his tongue as if its very utterance took him higher, "We used to get down to this back in the day."

He turned his massive head back to the road and proceeded to get into the music in that subtle, smooth way only an enormous middle aged black man driving an Econoline can, evoking images in my mind of a younger, slimmer, Truck--Jimi Hendrix-style headband on his afro-ed head--amongst a sea of paisleys and leather fringe and bell-bottoms and nubile young lasses of all races and persuasions, shaking his ample trunk to the soundtrack of Santana's afro-latin grooves. It was a beautiful vision.

For a long time, until just a few years ago in fact, that was the image that leapt to mind whenever the name of Santana was invoked. No matter how many New Agey, synthesizer-laced odes to oneness he might crank out. No matter how often he might repeat the same 3 note high-pitched guitar solo, no matter how many half-baked babblings he might utter to an outer-space angel named "Metatron," I didn't care. Santana was cool, and at least he'd never sold out. Just the opposite in fact. Back in the late '70s when his commercial appeal was first on the wane, instead of rehashing the hits and reuniting with his former bandmates (two of whom had already Tainted the Memory by then, forming schlock-rock powerhouse Journey), Carlos was committing commercial suicide, recording duets with artistic eccentrics like Alice Coltrane, John Mclaughlin, and the aforementioned Sri Chinmoy. The results of these collaborations, while often sickeningly saccharine if not chaotic and unlistenable, were anything but commercial, and always felt honest. Sometimes, as on "Transcendance" when his velvet-voiced vocalist sang, "Hello, I'm back again to share with you my heart and soul," (one of only two lines of vocals in the song), you not only knew Santana meant it, it was so heartfelt that its cliched cheesiness was out and out obliterated by its sheer ebullient musical rapture.

Then he made a comeback. At first it seemed innocuous enough. I was actually pleased when he popped up for a guitar solo on a couple of Hip Hop albums, nothing wrong with receiving his just props from the Hip Hop community, especially since he's generally classified strictly as a Classic Rocker. That was before I heard Supernatural, a huge commercial success, a phenomenon in fact, consisting entirely of collaborations with other artists, including such light-weights as Everlast, Eagle Eye Cherry, and the guy from Matchbox 20. Though hailed as a triumphant return to form, this record was little more than an elaborate industry puppet show, with monocle-sporting fatcat Clive Davis pulling the strings that made the shell of Carlos dance around on MTV and VH-1 alongside a bunch of sexy girls who probably hadn't even heard of Santana before their agents told them that there was a casting call for a video featuring that guy from Matchbox 20 who used to be fat.

What made it worse was that everyone, including Carlos, seemed to love it. The critics fawned over Supernatural's radio-friendly tripe in the same way they are now fawning over Bob Dylan's last few mediocre records, and Carlos accepted his six Grammys and hugged Clive Davis without even seeming to notice the stench of fois gras, cigar-smoke and shallow greed on the record executive's putrid breath. Santana was no longer interested in transcendence, or even in sharing his heart and soul. No the new Arista-created Santana just wants to hang a platinum record on his wall and hobnob with Wycleff in order to score a cover story in Teen People. What happened to the guy who recorded whole albums without a song shorter than twenty minutes, the guy who let Airto Moreira and Flora Purim do what they would with an entire album side? What's next, a P-Diddy remake of "Soul Sacrifice" featuring an interminable jam with Lil Bow Wow, Da Brat, and the guy from Train? He may have held out his artistic credibility (though certainly not its viability) for twenty years longer than most, but alas, Devadip no more, Carlos Santana is Tainting the Memory.

one less company

NEVER USE FUCKING DIGILOT.COM TO BUY ANYTHING!!!

grr. damn shitty fuckers.

that is all.

i can't stand losers

who think they are the SHIT AND TRY TO RUIN THE FUCKING MOVIE!!

a whole gang of incredible loser high school or maybe even 20somethings came into the theater i was in and started talking, throwing fucking food at each other, sitting in the fucking isles, crowding me, and ANNOYING ME!!

but other than that

THE GLASS HOUSE WAS AWESOME!!:-)

lee lee's character had the same back pack as me!!! hehehe. i was thrilled.

madtv

"she's such a whore that her only 2 food groups are penicillian and sperm"

"she's such a whore, her throat is looser than the slots in vegas."

"she's such a whore that she's like dominos: cheap, greasy and cums in 30min or less"

LMAO. anyone ever seen those literally skits?

cool thing about having a spanish speaking mom..

she can translate those "dramatically bigger" taco bueno commercials:-)