mmmmmmm

oh yes. go to enjoyincubus.com to get your own:-)

I bite my tongue everytime you come around

I love incubus..haha. they are like a hardcore metal rocker hippieish band. the best of both worlds. maybe thats the REAL 4th dimension..(anyone see that interview last night?) haha. rock man!!

Anyways, guess wot i found out today?

JD is 18. damnit..i felt old when he told me that.
He just graduated in May, shit LOL. hes as old as my dear sam. he so dosent look it..i thought he was my age or older.

I also Made him laugh. not just laugh, like oh thats funny, but THAT laugh. the uninhibited laugh that catches you offguard when something is genuinely funny and something in your body/soul kicks in and you do THAT laugh.

I'm queen of those laughs:-)

Once i get someone there, they are all mine:-) haha

Until i get there, its a struggle. Sometimes it takes forever, others, its that day.

Neither of us says bye when class is over yet. Next week, we get a list of concerts that we have to go to. So we'll see.

Damn though..i love the way he smells. He smells like a sexy rock boy. mmmm..like u know hes thrashed/headbanged or been in a mosh pit. Like he only wears cologne when its a special occasion, and other than that, he goes w/o it. And he has that natural scent..(drools) thats wot my brian smells like..oh god. I miss being extremely aroused by someone LOL

Lately, i feel like a nun.

But i do have to say..i need to becareful. If my bad girlness dosent get satisfied, she will take over my judement and get me arse into trouble..

haha..and my badgirlness is getting rather impatient..

and its not like there arent temptations..


On another weird note..

Damn. I always have to pee after my first class. So i was sitting there in the stall and its dead silent except for this other chick. and im sitting there going for like almost 2 minutes and this strange funny name comes to me,

(in my head) "Damn, You might as well as call me Race Horse Sally."

LOL. i find that very funny.

I must sleep!

my biggest fear is that you will be the rescue of me

I remember the first time i heard brian's voice.
It scared me because he was so..together sounding. I was basically on a break from someone who was so far from it and me, a never totally together girl despite appearences, was scared. I think i broke up with him a week later.

I remember when i heard it again half a year later. It was heaven. I remember how he couldn't get enough of me. I remember feeling more secure that I had in my entire life. I remember how he could speak to parts of my soul that I'm so sure were hidden. I remember how he said my name and called me his, baby, honey, sweetie, sweetheart, and love. I remember him playing some mp3 and then making a joke about his "pulsing orb of love." I remember how how he used to sing to me doors lryics. I remember how he used to email me back. I remember how grounded i used to feel. I remember thinking about him all day long. I remember us always talking. I remember the moment i opened up his letter and smelling him. I could have died at that moment. I remember him being so excited always about us. I remember feeling so loved by him. I remember how he really listened to me. I remember how fast and excited he gets when he talks about music that he loves. I remember how much of a prude and kinky sex freak he can be all in the same sentence. i remember how'd he would play tough "yeah well im going out..unless u want me to stay.."
"no go. i'm fine." -me
"(calls them and comes back) Well i'm not going out now. besides, i'd rather talk to you."
"up to you:-)."
I remember how rough his voice would sound from a weekend of smoking, drinking and how much i wanted to jump his bones. I remember how he would kiss the phone just because i wanted him too. I remember how he would say he loves me, i remember him being there.

I Miss You, Brian.